Thursday, November 10, 2016

Mission: The Seeds of Chaos

An excerpt from Sunday's mission report of an agent that encountered rampaging, malfunctioning robots at a shopping mall:

At this time, we were attacked by a Cleaning Bot. “Help me relax, so I don’t have to wax, keep the floor clean.” Why do we program these bots to project themselves as sentient? Their entire mechanical purpose is to clean. Why is this one requesting a reduction in his labor?
I move Nassarius away from danger and follow the unit into formation.
“Please drop your valuables for me, I accept tips.” Again I have to question the intent of the command. Are the robots collecting tips for the creators? The maintenance crew? Themselves?
Jones makes a strange request for me to throw trash. I assume this is some sort of gleamed information regarding the robots purpose. Jones nanite-swarmed the robot. He was then counter attacked and made a tactical dodge. UG training pays off.
“You drop it I mop it.” This cadence seems much more sensible.
I move Nassarius against a wall, and deployed the contents of the local trash receptacle, as per my ally's request. Ka repositioned within my peripheral view, so I monitored his blind spots, with Nassarius to my rear.
The robot attacked Jones. I believe he was hit. Ka discharged his weapon into the combat zone. It is reasonably assumed that his attack was successful.
“Please don’t litter, it makes me bitter.” This is the 3rd abnormal statement made from the malfunctioning robot...

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